My digital archaeology from the rubble of Elon's Fortress of Faeces continues with my #31DaysofHorror selections from 2019:
1. Cooties (2014): A zombie virus that only affects the pre-pubescent breaks out in an elementary school. Gratifyingly grisly, and funny with it. “Nap time, motherfuckers!”
3. Wolfen (1981): A great, scuzzy pre-gentrification New York movie and director Michael Wadleigh’s sole non-documentary feature. Albert Finney stalks the streets searching for whatever is responsible for a series of murders that look a lot like animal attacks.
4. The Last Man on Earth (1964): Vincent Price Is Legend. The first adaptation of Richard Matheson's dystopian vampire masterwork and a crucial stepping stone on the road to Night of the Living Dead. In the public domain for your instant gratification.
5. Def by Temptation (1990): A libidinous succubus preys on the patrons of a New York City bar in one of Troma’s best, shot with brio by the mighty Ernest Dickerson. It’s a shame that multi-hyphenate James Bond III seems to have dropped out of sight after this.
6. In Fabric (2018): A malevolent "artery red" dress wreaks murderous havoc in Peter Strickland’s bewitching phantasmagoria. One of my favourite films of the year.
7. Frozen (2010): Three friends are stranded on a ski-lift in Adam Green’s masterful exercise in tension and terror. Will the wolves get them before the hypothermia does?
8. A Bucket of Blood (1959): Walter Paisley is a gifted sculptor, particularly when he’s working with clay and corpses. Roger Corman’s satire on beatniks and the art world is one of his very best.
9. All the Colours of the Dark (1972): Edwige Fenech has been through a lot. A car accident, a miscarriage, disturbing nightmares...and now she’s being pursued around London by a coven of devil-worshippers.
10. Army of Darkness (1992): Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! I know this isn’t a widely held feeling amongst Deadheads, but this is my personal favourite of the Evil Dead series, with Bruce Campbell at his grooviest.
11. One Cut of the Dead (2017): You’ll grudgingly admire the 37 minute single take opening shot, but won’t really understand what all the fuss is about. Hang in there. Your persistence will be rewarded. By the time you reach the end, you’ll get it, I promise. Pom!
13. Salt (2017): A mother and her sick daughter keep a demon at bay with a ring of salt...and it's only two minutes long...and you can watch it here.
14. Dreamscape (1984): Psychics that can enter people’s dreams and scare them to death in their sleep, and I’ve been haunted by the memory of that terrifying Snakeman creature ever since.
15. Carry On Screaming! (1966): The twelfth and the best of the bawdy Carry On series. A glorious Hammer pastiche ripe with innuendo and Fenella Fielding’s vamping.
16. Grabbers (2012): Bloodsucking alien creatures invade a small island off the coast of Ireland. Their only weakness? Alcohol. To survive, the locals are going to have to hit the pub before Last Orders are called.
17. Dr. Terror’s House of Horrors (1965): Dr. Schreck uses tarot cards to predict the fates of his fellow train passengers in the first Amicus anthology film. Bonus treats: Alan “Fluff” Freeman, plus a performance by the great Tubby Hayes.
18. Dr. Phibes Rises Again (1972): He has wreaked his revenge. Now he craves immortality! No scenery is left unchewed by the mighty Vincent Price, clearly relishing every moment of this. And he sings Somewhere Over The Rainbow. An utter joy.
19. Innocent Blood (1992): Vampire Anne Parillaud prowls the streets of Pittsburgh feasting on mobsters, including the great Robert Loggia, in John Landis’ genre mashup.
20. Der Samurai (2014): A katana-wielding transvestite carves a bloody swathe through an East German village and the only person who can stop him is a young police officer wrestling with his sexuality. A smart, distinctive, gore-flecked blast that I wrote about in greater detail back in 2015.
21. Dr Jekyll & Sister Hyde (1971): Hammer’s witty gender fluid riff on Stevenson’s frequently adapted gothic novella, with the good doctor Ralph Bates transforming into the malevolent Martine Beswick.
22. Q (1982): “He doesn’t die easy.” A gargantuan flying lizard lurks on the roof of the Chrysler Building munching on New Yorkers in Larry Cohen’s fabulous creature feature.
23. Cub (2014): There's something in the woods! A grisly, inventive Flemish slasher that validates my lifelong antipathy to camping. Lean, efficient and the exposition is sliced right down to the bone. A splattery joy.
24. Race with the Devil (1975): Two couples set off in an RV travelling from Texas to Colorado for “the best damn vacation they ever had.” They didn't expect the Satanic orgy and ritual human sacrifice that they stumble upon.
25. The Burning (1981): One of the best post-Friday the 13th summer camp slashers, featuring the big screen debuts of Jason Alexander, Fisher Stevens and Holly Hunter. "Tonight's the night. Cropsy's going to get what he deserves."
27. The Girl with All the Gifts (2016): A group of children infected with a zombie virus have retained their ability to think and reason - could they be the saviours of humanity, their doom or something else entirely?
28. Bubba Ho-Tep (2002): Elvis Lives! And whiles away his twilight years in a retirement home with a man who may be JFK. They are all that stands between an ancient Egyptian mummy and the souls of the old folk at the home.
29. Sugar Hill (1974): “Meet SUGAR HILL and her ZOMBIE HIT MEN...The Mafia has never met anything like them!” What could I possibly add to a killer tagline like that?
30. Daughters of Darkness (1971): A newlywed couple cross paths with the mysterious Countess Báthory (the luminescent Delphine Seyrig) in Harry Kümel’s lush psychosexual nightmare of ecstasy.
31. The Banana Splits Movie (2019): The show never went off the air in 1970. Fleegle, Bingo, Drooper and Snorky are now robotic performers. This is the night the furry animal psychedelic rock band malfunctions and attacks the studio audience. A splattery joy.
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