Monday, February 21, 2005


This is not supposed to be one of my darkly humorous, amorphous-ranting bits…I’m genuinely fed up and pissed off.

Yet another broken laptop has arrived on my desk. Broken laptops land on my desk with alarming regularity, for numerous stupid reasons. That’s part of the job. But…

This particular laptop arrived on my desk in a cardboard box emblazoned with the logo from a chicken breeding farm, and the box was caked with chicken blood and chicken shit, full of wadded-up newspapers concealing the offending laptop.

That’s just plain disgusting. I don’t think navigating chicken entrails or offal fall into the remit of my job description.

If the fucking morons who work for this company had actually paid for the laptops themselves, then maybe they would look after them a bit better, and I wouldn’t be scraping calcified viscera and fowl guts off my trousers.

Imagine a job where someone tips a five million-piece jigsaw on your desk. But they’ve removed 500 pieces. And replaced them with 500 different pieces. And they’ve snapped another 200 pieces into unusable chunks. And they want you to finish the jigsaw within the hour. Whilst they stand behind you, saying “Have you done it yet? Have you done it yet? Have you done it yet?” over and over again.

That’s what working here is like.

On some days, I completely understand the impulse that drives people onto rooftops with sniper rifles.

I hate everyone and everything.

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